Where Do YOU Look For Counseling Or Coaching Success?

Look Inside to Discover The SecretFor many years as I created my blogs, articles, teleseminars, videos, webinars and even my own blogging tribe, I thought there was a right way and a wrong way to attract clients, customers, colleagues, joint ventures, or even speaking engagements.  That seemed to be the message I heard over and over again from the many  high energy, success oriented and wealthy online and offline coaches and entrepreneurs I had observed and trained with.

I heard over and over again that I should not attempt to do it alone, that I would need to work with a coach. Over the past several years  I have certainly received my share of coaching, most of it quite good although sometimes given to me before I was ready or able to implement in a big way.  When I found myself spending more and receiving less, I stepped back and thought about what is really going on.

This afternoon I received a phone call from a client who had only come to me for 2 sessions. The first session was an intake, a time in which I ask lots of questions and encourage the client to reveal significant issues and relationships in the past and present.  In this case, the second session involved somatic psychotherapy, an opportunity to explore the meaning of life issues as reflected in the body’s responses. 

This Work Is Incredibly Powerful

As a client allows him or herself to be seen and heard and understood.  In this work, there is a delicate sense of intimacy that develops over time.  The process cannot be rushed and the opening up can be quite revealing, if not a bit scary.  And there are these moments of pure resistance, times when the client is afraid of being exposed to his or her way of being in the world that may have worked in the past for survival but is no longer beneficial.

So this client had a taste of this powerful work but left the session asking a question reminiscent of an old song that I used to love:  “Is that all there is?”  That question triggered in me a sudden realization that was so strong I felt compelled to write about it.  Many clients have sort of asked that same question, wanting to have their life issues handled for them.  They want to find the one therapist, the perfect coach, the ideal business associate or the one soul mate that will make their relationship dreams come true.  They want to read the one article or book that will do it for them.  They want to be given the tool, the words, the attitude, the simple solution that will finally transform their world.  They want a magic wand, a miracle worker, an instant gratification, and the total assurance that if they spend x number of dollars and x number of hours they will be guaranteed to receive triple or quadruple the amount  of problem resolution or financial income.  And all of this is expected almost instantly with literally no effort on their part.

I Have Looked For Quick Fixes and Magic Wands

Yes, I have fallen prey to that same mentality.  I have chosen to go to psychic readers to hear that there was nothing I could do about the problem, after all, a curse had been placed upon my life.  All that was needed was for me to pay an exorbitant amount of money and candles will be lit to remove the curse.  I have also gone to receive hundreds of private counseling, body therapy, somatic therapy and body psychotherapy sessions.  Not one of these sessions instantly healed my personal and relationship issues.  I have spent a lot of time and a lot of money getting “coached” on how to build my online business, get my book published, get high paying speaking engagements, create high converting videos, build my email list and become a sought after online celebrity.

Finally, finally, finally – I have discovered THE SECRET to creating everything I want and desire and need in my life.  For me, it is not just a matter of the simple law of attraction.  Knowing what I want and sitting back expecting it to be delivered to my doorstep does not work.  Changing my attitude to become one of patient expectation, listening to others and showing them I care, works a little better but it is still not the key.  Outsourcing, hiring someone to do all those tasks that I don’t enjoy doing, is also not the solution, although it can help me to be more organized, efficient and productive.

Want to Know the SECRET I Have Discovered? 

You have probably heard this before.  What I’m about to share is certainly not new.  It is not even new to me.  My Love Me, Touch Me, Heal Me book series that I have divided into smaller Kindle and Smashwords books, revealed the secret to me as I wrote it.  The funny thing about this is that I wrote about it.  I studied higher consciousness.  I KNEW the answer when I spent a week at the Paradise Island yoga retreat.  I was taught by Swami Vishu Devananda, Sivananda’s disciple, who had created the Sivananda Yoga Center in New York City and the retreat on Paradise Island featuring the famous sitarist, Ravi Shankar during the evening festivities.  Someone said these words to me at that time:  “Know that you know that you know.”

I knew the secret way back then yet it has taken me several decades to finally start to live it.
This precious secret is revealed to only those who are willing to take that long hard inner journey to self -realization.  THE SECRET TO HAVING EVERYTHING IN YOUR LIFE IS TO TAKE THAT INNER JOURNEY TO SELF-REALIZATION!  That’s all there is to it folks.  The secret is simple.  The process is a long and arduous, twisting and turning, upward and downward, internal and external struggle.


Becoming a successful therapist, a popular coach, a wealthy entrepreneur, a beloved parent or a happily married spouse in a long term marriage requires taking the long and sometimes very difficult road to self-understanding, self-awareness, self-appreciation, self-change and self-love.  YOU are the only one who exists who can catapult your life into the dream life you imagine.  YOU are the actor, director and all the characters in your own life show.  YOU are your own ideal client, ideal business associate, ideal parent, and ideal intimate partner.

My Love Me, Touch Me, Heal Me Book  Love Me Touch Me Heal Me Book provides you with a detailed road map for your life.  The complete book and all the separate smaller books are filled with stories, research, visualizations, healing methods, guided imagery, meditations, physical exercises, writing exercises and journaling that enable you to take a complete internal journey to discovering your own value and magnificence in this world.

My Healing Through Love Seminar Series Healing Through Love Seminar Seriesis a set of audios that guide you into exploring your relationship to yourself, to others, to your past and to your desired future.  It includes some powerful guided imagery in the Q&A sessions. 

My Love Touch Heal Relationship System Love Touch Heal Relationship System includes a set of videos which explain how to finally love yourself, explore and enjoy the healing potential of touch, discover your own healing process, and open up to your own sensual awareness.  Then we explore that subject that so many of us tend to avoid when it is personal, our sexuality, and finally our sense of our own spiritual being.




A Transformational 30 Day Course All About Creating Love

CONTACT ME if you are ready to claim your own value, virtue and magnificence in this world.




Please leave a comment below and share your thoughts and responses.

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Dr. Erica Goodstone



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Dr. Erica Goodstone is a Spiritual Relationship Healing Expert helping men and women heal their bodies and their relationships through love.For several years she has posted hundreds of articles, blogs, radio shows, videos and shared there on all the major social media channles.Having presented her comprehensive relationship healing programs throughout the U.S. and Canada over several decades, she has helped literally 1000's of men and women to heal through learning how to love.Online she continues to expand her message globally.Dr. Erica believes "Where There is Love There IS a Way".When you love, accept, listen and pay attention to your body, trust your own sense of what you truly desire,and strive to understand, appreciate and really know the other people in your life, anything and everything is possible.As therapists, none of us can do it all alone.We can work together to create a healthier, happier world.

19 thoughts on “Where Do YOU Look For Counseling Or Coaching Success?

  1. Erika Mohssen-Beyk

    Hi Dr.Erica
    I love your article ,it is very true what you write
    and it speaks my heart . there are no quick fixes ,
    it needs work and finding ourselves.I liked you book” Love me ,Touch me, Heal me, ”
    very much ,I think there is a lot we can to learn from it.
    It helps in the journey of self awareness.,we need to
    look deep inside and we will find the one we have been
    looking for,this is true .May be not easy and having somebody
    to guide or a coach is very helpful.
    Thank you for this beautiful article

    1. drerica Post author


      Thanks for your support. I know you are always searching for that love inside and you live with such a beautiful appreciation of the world, nature, animals and healthy organic eating. This self-awareness certainly takes time, a lifetime of paying attention.

      Dr. Erica

  2. Vivette

    Excellent Post Dr Erica!

    I remember when I started my Home Based Business I tried so many “quick fixes” which cost me a lot of money and zero results. I have fallen prey so many times to shiny objects. I started experiencing some success when I came to the realization that if I truly want to have success then I have to work on me. I have to improve my skills, I have to get better at what I do.

    Thanks for sharing a wonderful article.


    1. drerica Post author


      I have worked on myself, my inner qualities, my capacity for self-acceptance and love. But then, when I got involved in this online world I kept looking for someone outside myself to help me to put my work online. I kept thinking someone else has the exact system, the simple method, the key to online success. Finally, after several years, I remembered that the key to success lies within me. In other words, I have to do the work, put the stuff out there (which I have done a lot in the past), and stop relying on anybody else to make it easier for me. It is not easy. It takes time and effort and lots of thinking and writing and doing to implement and market my message to the world.


      Dr. Erica

  3. donna merrill

    Hi Erica,

    I love this inspiring article. I am of the school of thought that there is never a quick fix. There is no such thing as “the one” as a partner, Hiring a coach cannot get you rich, etc. It is up to me and me alone.

    I do go for help and use therapy as a tool to get to know myself better and to improve my inner being. I’ve used coaches for business in many different aspects of it. But wen it comes down to it all, it is up to me to apply what I’ve learned.

    I used to think that there was “the one” in love and that got me divorced twice. It was not until I learned to love myself that I could accept the love of my life to love me. I had to work so hard on that one. Now, almost 25 years later, That “one” came to my life and I still enjoy every day with him.

    When it comes to business, if I hit a road block, and need to learn more, I sure do hire a one to one coach to teach me how to apply it.

    As long as we know it is our responsibility to grow and keep on growing, life is amazing!


    1. drerica Post author


      I love what you said at the end. “As long as we know it is our responsibility to grow and keep on growing, life is amazing!” That is what I have been experiencing. Friendships blossum. Love feels as if it is everywhere. And I know that when I have a problem, I will reach out for help from someone who know what I need to do to fix the problem or create the new thing I am seeking to create.


      Dr. Erica

  4. Andrea Ansari

    Hey Erica, great post on where to look for counselling or coaching… extremely important for online success. Because if you’re alone, you’re lost! Find someone who charges well because they have results already and can take you to the next level quickly… That’s what I’m doing.

    1. drerica Post author


      We have to do both – get coaches and pay for someone who is ahead of us and can show up the path to follow. And we also have to look inside, discover what is blocking us or holding us back. And we also have to do a lot of the work ourselves, not rely totally on a coach or therapist pr business associate or downline or upline to do it for us.


      Dr. Erica

  5. Siphosith

    I like the way you write Dr Erica, you kept me in suspense and I really wanted to know the secret and I kept reading. So true there are no quick fixes and the secret is from within the person not from outside. Thanks for sharing, helped me to look deeper into myself.

    1. drerica Post author

      Thank you Siphosith. I didn’t realize that I wrote in a way to add suspense. That is what so many of the marketers have taught about copyrighting so maybe their messages are sinking in.

      Dr. Erica

  6. William Earl Amis, Jr. III

    Dr. Erica good things always takes time.!

    We have a whole generation that has not self-discipline nor patience. They feel entitled to everything fast. We have to break away from this mentality which is addictive and like a virus.

    Hey, all our electronics, and computer programs. Get better every six months. What is amazing and usable is not in that short time Based on everyone feeling they are entitled to the newest thing. That is all for show.

    It is the same thought and feeling process. We feel when starting a business or profession. We believe that all the knowledge and tools. We must have now! That is the only way we can make money and have a huge awareness of our presences. This is sad and wrong.

    You only need to have a written plan. The same you visioned. All the tools and support will mean nothing if you do not have the self-discipline and perception to carry you forward.

    So, knowing and feeling confident. You are the beginning and only need to begin a lucrative practice or business. Will keep you grounded and your ability to move forward will begin. We have to stop listening to all the hype and outside influences. That is where the discipline kicks in.

    Thank you Dr. Erica for walking us through so many challenges in our everyday lives. You have been a strong influence for us all.

    1. drerica Post author


      Although all this new technology was supposed to make our life easier, I find I am continually having to deal with some tech issue that I think will only take about 10 minutes – and it takes hours. So I have discovered that I must keep taking actions, even if they don’t seem to show outwardly, as long as I know I am continually taking the actions and making the progress – it will lead to accomplishing my goals over time.
      Dr. Erica

  7. Monna Ellithorpe

    Hi Erica,

    What a great article. I too spent the beginnings of my time online looking for a “quick return” and later realize that wasn’t going to happen. I realized it does take work but then I didn’t quite know how to put it all together.

    Thanks to you and a few great friends and mentors online, I’m finding my way.

    Have a wonderful day.

    1. drerica Post author


      You are doing incredibly well online without having to “sell” to anybody, just sharing what you know and what you are doing.
      It has been wonderful to watch you blossum.

      Dr. Erica

  8. Mark

    What a truly fabulous post Dr.Erica! (As usual!)

    Although I must say, I’m deeply disappointed to finally discover,
    that after all this time, money and energy invested, there simply
    no magic bullet solutions!LOL! Bummer!

    You’ve made and shared so many realistic assessment points, that either one has to finally
    accept the reality of what you’re sharing and or simply continue to chase rainbows!

    It’s obvious from your extensive formal educational background and your intense personal development journey as well, that you’ve been properly exposed and introduced to more than enough data and processes, to draw some reasonable conclusions about “how” things really work or don’t!

    And we would be very wise to take notice to what you’re sharing here! This was truly an awesome post!

    And i’m so glad your patient help inspire you to share it! Thanks!

  9. Dr. Erica Goodstone


    I just re-read my own article and had actually forgotten that I had written this. I teach it all the time yet as I read it, I felt that same old sense of surprise, once again. We are so conditioned to look out to the external world and the people in our life to provide all the answers and to give to us everything we desire. When the truth of the matter is, we need to give first what we are expecting to receive. So simple yet profoundly difficult for most of us.


    Dr. Erica

  10. Phillius Thomas

    Indeed, you are the only one that really has any effect on yourself. If you need help, then search for a good therapist or counselor, not a psychic. You may end up worse off if you go to someone who says they have all the answers.

    1. drerica Post author

      You point out something important. We do have to be careful who we turn to for advice and help, especially when we are feeling down and out or confused about what direction to take.

      Dr. Erica

    2. drerica Post author

      What you are saying is so important. When people talk and act as if they have all the answers, most of the time they don’t. Each of us has the answers within our own self. We need others to help us to look within our self to retrieve the answers and solutions. Nobody else can really know what we want and need unless they help us to explore our own mind. So important to reach out to a qualified and experienced therapist, counselor or experienced coach.


      Dr. Erica

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