Are You Commitment Phobic?

Commitment to Success


Recently I was invited to participate in a virtual love summit entitled “From Dating to Commitment”. So many men and women nowadays seem to be commitment phobic, dating but not forming exclusive relationships. And many are not even dating, just hanging out with friends and sometimes offering these friends their “benefits”.  This lack of focus and commitment trickles over into business building and work ethics. 

Both men and women seem to want it all and there is so much variety – so many new people to meet, locally and all over the world, and so many different ways to connect online and offline. Technology has created a generation of commitment phobic people who spend more time texting the people who are not present in real time and often ignoring the person standing right next to them. None of this would be a problem if we were all like Dr. Spock, emotionless, robotic humans.

Fortunately or unfortunately, we were born with the brain circuits for feeling and expressing 48+ emotions. And we have real, inborn needs for touch, connection and intimacy. Therefore, even though many of us are now seeking variety and showing a real fear of commitment, our deep longing is to settle in with someone who knows us, who gets us, who likes us, who loves us and who challenges us to return that love in mutually satisfying ways. If you’re a businessman or businesswoman, online marketer, or someone who is currently in a very real, intimate and committed relationship, you may be thinking to yourself: “This doesn’t concern me. I know how to make a commitment. I don’t have a fear of commitment.” And my immediate response is to say “Really!” Commitment is not just about finding a person to love and making a commitment to be monogamous for life with that person. Commitment is a life issue that ALL of us struggle with in different aspects and areas of our lives. For your business-minded folks, try substituting the word “Focus” for commitment and you might begin to understand that just maybe, you too are sometimes commitment phobic.

Do you know what it takes to create lasting love?


If you want to create a lasting relationship with a real commitment or if you are struggling to feel loved and loving in a long term relationship, click on the link below to watch the video  “From Attraction to Dating to Commitment”.

Same principles apply in building business relationships and partnerships

If you have difficulty focusing and being committed to your own health and well-being or if you cannot focus enough to succeed in your chosen business projects, then watch the video and notice how the same principles may apply.  Notice that the message is the same – Are you ready to love and to serve others.

Watch the Video - Attraction to Dating to Commitment
CONTACT ME for a consultation, to schedule an appointment or to ask a question.
Dr. Erica
Relationship Healer and Love Mentor
Where There Is Love There IS A Way


Dr. Erica Goodstone is a Spiritual Relationship Healing Expert helping men and women heal their bodies and their relationships through love.For several years she has posted hundreds of articles, blogs, radio shows, videos and shared there on all the major social media channles.Having presented her comprehensive relationship healing programs throughout the U.S. and Canada over several decades, she has helped literally 1000's of men and women to heal through learning how to love.Online she continues to expand her message globally.Dr. Erica believes "Where There is Love There IS a Way".When you love, accept, listen and pay attention to your body, trust your own sense of what you truly desire,and strive to understand, appreciate and really know the other people in your life, anything and everything is possible.As therapists, none of us can do it all alone.We can work together to create a healthier, happier world.

16 thoughts on “Are You Commitment Phobic?

  1. sazia kazia

    Hi Dr. Erica Goodstone for sharing this information. Its true that Technology has created a generation of commitment phobic people who spend more time texting the people who are not present in real time and often ignoring the person standing right next to them. We have to give time to the real people as well who really love us and value us.

    1. drerica Post author


      This is not only about people not making a commitment to a live human being. It is also about making a commitment to do what you say you are going to do, for yourself. If you want to build a business, then you need to make a commitment to do what it takes to create that business.


      Dr. Erica

  2. Monna Ellithorpe

    Hi Erica,

    Great post. I agree with most of what you said but in my case, I have no problems committing to a relationship but I do seem to have problems with certain areas of my business; maybe not so much a committment issue but more of doubting myself.

    I love reading your posts. Thanks for all the wisdom you share.

    1. drerica Post author

      Thanks Monna,

      You pointed out something important. Often when we don’t make a commitment to someone or something it is really less about the other person or thing but more about our own fear and lack of confidence. That has certainly been the case with me. When I feel that I can do something, even if there are some hurdles, I will keep going toward it. But when I have doubts about it, I will easily get distracted off course or consciously change direction.


      Dr. Erica

  3. Sue Bride

    My partner and I both work from home and sit at side by side desks. When we moved to this house, the desks were large so we placed them opposite each other. It wasn’t until months later I realized that the monitors that separated us were a real barrier to our communication. We’d go hours not talking even though we were only a few feet apart. We both focus so hard on the computer that it took us a while to figure this out.

    It’s amazing what a difference buying two new desks has made. We are now side by side again and can see each other. We talk much more.

    1. drerica Post author

      You are reminding us of the power of Feng Shui, the way furniture is arranged in the space, and how that either opens or blocks the energy.
      Amazing how a small change, new desks, can make a huge differene in your ability and willingness to communicate.


      Dr. Erica

  4. Theodore Nwangene

    Hello Erica,
    This is my first visit here and i must say that i like what I’m seeing :).

    Coming to your post, most people usually waste more time communicating with the people that are very far away from them than they do interacting with those close by and that all because of technology.

    We no longer have the time to commit to the most important things in our lives and that is very bad.

    I agree with everything you mentioned here and I’m also guilty of it.

    Thanks for sharing.

    1. drerica Post author


      You are so right. We no longer seem to be willing to commit to the most important things in our lives, and then we wonder why we don’t feel happy and fulfilled. Commitment, the act of making the decision to do something as well as you can, brings a real sense of satisfaction.

      Dr. Erica

  5. Mary Sloane

    Great post Dr Erica
    Interesting to see how commitment to a relationship is like commitment to your business or even commitment to your future.

    We have so many choices and we so fear making hte “wrong” one without realizing we are the only ones who can w say if it is wrong or right and we can make any of them right even the ones that were made for us.

    I always think of ht epeople suddenly handicapped or children suddenly orphaned. They have to commit to making that even tthe right and perfect event to give u them wonderful lives or they have chosen to have lives that are less than that

    Lack f commitment is also a choice!

    All choice has consequences it is those we must consider, and if you don’t like your current consequences of past choices, choose again!

    To the Top!


    1. drerica Post author


      You are so right. We always have a choice. Making a commitment is a choice – and it sometimes takes hard work and a long time to see the results of our efforts. But not making a commitment is also a choice – and that also takes a long time before we see the results that we did not achieve and may have if we had made the commitment way back when.


      Dr. Erica

  6. Mark

    Thanks Dr.Erica!

    And I dare say,being commitment phobic, is not the only
    thing technology has thrusts upon us!

    I really liked your video too BTW!And I definitely have to
    agree, that there will definitely b a spill over into our business life
    with regards to our business building activities and or overall work ethics.

    And I also really love where yo pointed out, we spend more time
    attempting to communicate with others through our devices, than we do with those
    standing within arms distance!LOL!

    How many times a day do you see that exact scenario playing out right
    before our eyes!LOL!

    Thanks for sharing some extremely keen insights!

  7. drerica Post author


    There is definitely a connection between the way we commit to a relationship and the way we commit to doing our business. When we are not afraid of making a commitment, we are really freed up. We remove the distractions and pay attention to the person’s needs and desires or to the essential trainings and practices required for our business.

    Dr. Erica

  8. Sonal Talwar

    Hi Erica

    A wonderful post! Technology no doubt has reduced distance and people are able to communicate with their loved ones no matter how far they are. But are we using technology in the right way? Most of us spend time chatting and texting with unknown people over the net. It may happen that those people are fake. We are so engrossed in talking to them that we neglect the real people. People who love us and are around us, who need our attention and want to talk to us.

    I agree with all the points you mentioned and somewhere or the other we all are guilty of this.

    Thanks for sharing!

    1. drerica Post author


      I have also made some really wonderful “real” connections online with people, like you, who are hard working, caring and striving for self-improvement. I find there are many people who just want to tell the world about the wonderful work they are doing, thinking everybody is interested, without taking the time or making the effort to really connect. These are often the same people who do not really make a commitment to doing the work, whatever it takes, to build any relationships, including the relationship to their own business.


      Dr. Erica

  9. Donna Merrill

    Hi Dr. Erica,

    I like the way you have used the issue of “commitment phobia” that we always associate with relationships, and showing how many of us have the same phobia toward success in business.

    It’s one thing to say I want to focus on being successful, and quite another to say I’m committed to making it happen. That requires doing the work necessary to make our business (like our relationships) work.


    1. drerica Post author


      You and I know that it takes real dedication and consistency to succeed in any relationship, the one with a beloved partner as well as the relationship you have with your own business and your own success. There is a certain amount of work involved, often much more than anticipated. Everything seems to be harder and take longer than expected, in business and also in personal relationships. Patience and consistency and holding on to the dream and the vision – that’s what works.


      Dr. Erica

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