Sex is Everywhere
In the news, on TV, in magazines, on the web
What we see are images of happy men and women, smiling, laughing, hugging and often either getting ready or actually engaging in some type of sexual activity. It all seems so frivolous, careful and filled with excitement. Sexual connections are portrayed as easy and fun or silly and difficult. But the real issues that most of us face, at some moments in our lives, are rarely addressed in the media. Yes, the drug companies now encourage us to buy erection enhancing drugs to supposedly instantly fix our problems. But do they work as well as we are led to think they do?
Do you see clients who present with sexual issues, problems and dysfunctions that have caused them to feel insecure, anxious, inadequate, fearful or different?
Do you encourage your clients to talk about their sexual concerns? If your focus is addictions and addictive behavior, do you include a thorough sexual history? When you encourage couples to create greater intimacy through emotional vulnerability, do you include a focus on their sexual connection? Are you, perhaps, a bit uncomfortable discussing these issues?
Sexuality, sexual expression, getting our sexual needs met, fulfilling our sexual desires, and enjoying sexual pleasure and intimate loving is often NOT EASY. And we can struggle for years, even a lifetime, being unable to ever create a truly intimate connection. Our clients, dealing with anxiety, depression, personality disorders, physical ailments, drug and other addictions and problematic behaviors, may desire love in all the wrong places and in the wrong ways. And we can help.
In order for long term sexual intimacy to develop, many factors have to be in place and work synergistically. There are many reasons why sexual connections can go astray, lack fulfillment and leave us feeling frustrated, hurt, confused, angry, and even ashamed. Over time it may become increasingly difficult to overcome our problems alone.
Many well-meaning therapists and healing practitioners provide simple solutions, easy to follow steps and formulas, to help us attract and keep the love we desire. However, very often these techniques only work for awhile. We may be able to meet someone who appears to be the love of our life. We may feel mutual attraction and start and incredibly romantic and exciting relationship – for some period of time. And then ….
The inevitable moment occurs. The hormones die down. Our unconditional acceptances gives way to expectations, demands, disappointment and lots of judgments – often unfavorable. Our knight in shining armor has lost his glitter. Our ideal princess has lost her charm. Should we throw in the towel, break up and start looking for someone new?
What we are left with is the real human being.
When that lustful phase ends and your clients has an opportunity to be vulnerable and open up to another person, does he or she start to dislike that previously charming person, becoming more and more annoyed by those same personality traits. Our client’s insecurities may get triggered or he or she is being blamed for another person’s problems. And after the initial period of totally loving acceptance wears off, your client may discover profound differences in sexual desires, interests, style and expression. Couples that seek your help may find themselves creating more and more distance rather than opening up to deeper and more loving intimacy. What can we do to bring back the passion and love for the people depending upon your expertise?
Please leave a comment below and share your thoughts and responses to the video and the possibility for each of us to become a star in our own unique specialties.
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